I knew the men were probably terrible people who whistled at pretty girls, treated their wives like servants, and voted for Nixon every chance they got, but as far as I was concerned, they beat the hell out of a Volvo-load of liberals for hard work and good times.

The only person more cynical than a drunk is a reformed drunk.

I try to stay two drinks ahead of reality and three behind a drunk

...the sun rose each morning to stare into my face with the blank but touching gaze of a lovely retarded child.

I have learned some things. Modern life is warfare without end: take no prisoners, leave no wounded, eat the dead--that's environmentally sound.

Home is where you hang your hangover.

Consideration touches more deeply and longer than passion.