My thing is when we're doing a movie or TV show, I just want to go in and look at it and go, "That was great."

Bizarre! That's the only word I can use to describe life sometimes. Just freaking bizarre.

I shot him the bird. (Get it? I shot him the—never mind.)

And there I was, pretty as heck, brown eyes, a few freckles, fashion challenged, and a bad attitude. Max II.

My, g**, he was as strong as a team of oxen. That would be strong right?

Oh, my God. It hit me like a tsunami then: how perfect he was for me, how he was everything I could possibly hope for, as a friend, boyfriend - maybe even more. He was it for me. There would be no more looking. I really, really loved him, with a whole new kind of love I'd never felt before, something that made every other kind of love I'd ever felt just seem washed out and wimpy in comparison. I loved him with every cell in my body, every thought in my head, every feather in my wings, every breath in my lungs. And air sacs.

What are you guys doing? If you anted me to take a shower, all you had to do was pay me ten bucks, like you usually do