You stand out like a fart in a church.

"Uh-huh," I said. "Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks. I mean, this is pathetic."

Congratulations. The fact that you're reading this means you've taken one giant step closer to surviving until your next birthday.

It was like meeting someone out of your dreams, or fantasies, or a beloved character from a favorite book.

You know things have gone bad when military marches pass for pop music.

When its true, when it's right, love can give you the kind of joy that you can't get from any other experience.

My life would never contain a convenient, pain-saving plan when it could stretch a problem out into an endless agony of uncertainty and torture.