A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.

I never miss a good chance to shut up

Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster.

Once I was seated, I couldn't help people-watching. I'll admit it, I'm an addict from way back.

Congratulations. The fact that you're reading this means you've taken one giant step closer to surviving until your next birthday.

There's a saying I remember from my grandmother: One today is worth two tomorrows.

Yeah, and so Max and Dylan are supposed to, like, go to Germany and have kids together," I heard Gazzy say. My eyes popped open and I bolted upright. "What?" Fang said, his voice icy. "Gazzy!" I yelled. Wide blue eyes looked at me in surprise, then back at Fang's stoic face. "Oh. Was I not supposed to say anything?" Gazzy asked.