Just in case you thought elephants were all sweetness, I can attest to the fact that this one had the time of her life scaring the bejeezus out of those dudes.

The hardest part about parenting is when I have to be The Dad--aka the Fun-Sucker--as opposed to being a friend.

What I'm really addicted to is getting people to understand that if their kids aren't competent readers coming out of middle school, it's really going to be hard for them in high school.

Our parents were a test tube and a turkey baster.

She had a lot of hugs to give, but not enough people to give them to.

Save your world. Love it. Protect it, and respect it and don't let haters represent it. Don't leave the saving to anyone else, ever, because, exhibit A - why, hello there - it's way too much for one person. And if you want to skip out on the responsibility train, my whole life - and death - will have been in vain. It's yours. It's all yours for taking! You're not going to waste it now, are you?

So Fnick, can I change channel?" Iggy asked. "There's a game on." "Make yourself at home, Figgy." Fang said.