I am not a great prose stylist. I'm a storyteller. There are thousands of people who don't like what I do. Fortunately, there are millions who do.

"There is one bright side to this," said Fang. "Yeah? What's that?" The new and improved Erasers would mutilate us before they killed us? He grinned at me so unexpectedly I gorgot to flap for a second and dropped several feet. "You looove me," he crooned smugly. Holding his arms out wide, he added, "You love me this much." My shriek of appalled rage could probably be heard in California, or maybe Hawaii.

I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same--evil. Count me out." Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy. Dang, I'm good.

The hardest part about parenting is when I have to be The Dad--aka the Fun-Sucker--as opposed to being a friend.

Gazzy: (Hugging himself and jumping up and down) "I'm brilliant! I'm a genius! I can blow up the world!" Max: (Raises her eyebrows) Gazzy: "Not that I would want to, of course," (coughs)

Why would you let [the TV audiences] build a habit of going to the cable networks? So I think they've obviously smartened up now, and they're not giving the summer to cable anymore.

The instructor stared at me with cold, cut-me-no-slack determination, then got into a fighting stance, holding one hand out, beckoning me. "I saw that movie too!"I said."It was like the coolest movie of all-" He launched himself at me. That was when his day really went downhill.