Plus her mom was so awesome. She was strict about some things—don’t leave your socks lying around—but so not strict about other things, like calling the cops about my bullet wound.

Angel?" I said. "Baby penguins eat a regurgitated mixture of partially digested fish, krill, and an oily substance form their fathers' stomachs. Are you willing to eat a bunch of raw fish and krill, and then barf it back up into a baby penguin's cute, cheeping mouth? Like, every hour?" Sometimes my crushing logic astounds even me.

The whole duty of humanity, from a Christian perspective is: 'To know God and to show God.'

Lots of women are gifting themselves with diamonds for their right hand.

So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof.

For example, you go to Fuji, and there are no animal attacks. Why? And I think that gets you into the world of "The Walking Dead" or "Lost." Humans start doing some weird stuff.

A lot of writers fall in love with their sentences or their construction of sentences, and sometimes that's great, but not everybody is Gabriel Garcia Marquez or James Joyce. A lot of people like to pretend that they are, and they wind up not giving people a good read or enlightening them.