I think sometimes we give people a lot of credit just because they're writing nice sentences even if it isn't adding up to much.

I'm not a writer's writer. I'm not a craftsman. I could be, and that would be a one-book-a-year operation.

If you want to write for yourself, get a diary. If you want to write for your friends, get a blog. If you want to write for others...become an author.

Max: "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!" Fang: "But we're grounded." Max and Fang: (stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing)

I mean, who cares about SpongeBob SquarePants? I'm sitting here with Wolverine! -random kid talking to Ari

What I'm really addicted to is getting people to understand that if their kids aren't competent readers coming out of middle school, it's really going to be hard for them in high school.

You're children. Don't you want a home, a family?" "With, like, vitamin-fortified cereal and educational television?