Even needing to get to Angel, we couldn’t forget the basic necessity of eating.

A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found out how appropriate that was.

Gazzy, man, jeezum!" Fang exclaimed. "What the heck have you been eating for God's sake?" That was a smoke bomb!" Gazzy defended himself. "Not even i could fill this whole flippin' house!

"Uh-huh," I said. "Because all you mad, evil scientists sit around whipping up batches of Pillsbury's finest during your coffee breaks. I mean, this is pathetic."

It's our job - as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles - to find books our kids are going to like.

Does anything on you work properly?" Asked ter Borcht. "Well, I do have a highly developed sense of irony." Replied Iggy.

If my life were a corny horror movie, and the heroine was lost and alone, trapped in an underwater cave, what would happen next? If you guessed, “She drops her flashlight, and it hits a rock and breaks, leaving her in utter darkness,” you would be right. But I bet you didn’t guess the part about an attack by a giant octopus.