I was just utterly oblivious to how difficult it was, and how difficult it was going to be, and then also in the mid-eighties through the mid-nineties there was a boom of sorts. So there were plenty of stages. If I had started now, there would be very few places to get better and better.

My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.

I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.

I truly believe a woman's weight is a political issue, and if one young woman out there can see me and not feel crummy about herself, that's a good thing.

There's no reason to be doing comedy during the day in a hot tent. I don't know why anyone thinks it's a good idea, but festival after festival keeps doing it. I did see some of the other comedians struggling.

As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.

I would tell the Democrats in Washington who are trying to be civil with the "bipartisanship" to please stop and let the joker die once and for all, let the agents of chaos hit the pavement, stop picking them up.