I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things.

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.

I'm sorry for being me. I won't ever do it again.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?

You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.

Nothing translates worse than comedy into the printed word.