Get me a gun. If I don't go into labor soon, I'm going to shoot myself. And pass the gravy. Pass it now." Valerie - To the Nines

You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)

Cute? I think my testosterone level just dropped - Ranger

I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea.

Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week." Carl Costanza - Hot Six

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!

I hate mornings. They start so early.