Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads.

I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?

You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms." Joe Morelli

When people ask what you do, tell them you're a writer. Put yourself on the line. Make a commitment.

I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality.

I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.