You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms." Joe Morelli

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

Diesel is back," Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?" I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.

When people ask what you do, tell them you're a writer. Put yourself on the line. Make a commitment.

I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

Do you have someone watching her house?” (Stephanie) “That kind of surveillance only happens in the movies. We’re so underbudgeted we’re one step away from holding bake sales to pay for toilet paper. (Morelli)

This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.