You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms." Joe Morelli

Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion

You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think?" Stuart Bagget

I’ll be real discreet,” Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be.

Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.

You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.

Amen" Lula said and she made the sign of the cross. "I thought you were Baptist." "Yeah, but we don't got any hand signals for an occasion like this.