Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.

I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.

I exchanged my flannel shirt for a Rangers jersey and zapped the television on. Probably I should make more phone calls, but the Rangers were playing and priorities were priorities.

This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.

I like being able to provide consistent and frequent literary choices for my fans.