Where I come from your truck is a reflection of who you are.

I represent Jesus on this earth and he represents me in heaven.

Go to where the ducks are. Forget the duck calls. If you go where the ducks are coming, you're going to shoot more ducks.

My wife hates the beard. When we dated, I would grow it out during duck season. She said she could handle anything for three months - but now I have it all the time.

Group texts are the worst. They're like a terrible, technological snowball, coming down a mountain, and you can't stop it.

I've been showing up late and dirty all my life.

Through Jesus, your past is explained, your present has a purpose, and your future is secure. What more could you really want in life?