The first rule of PR is to get out in front of the story, and I think I was practicing that. It was also a weapon. I was also fortunate, despite being fat and nerdy, that I was never bullied. I could jump out in front, I was like, "Before you call me fat, do you have any extra mayonnaise?"

The first rule of PR is to get out in front of the story, and I think I was practicing that. It was also a weapon. I was also fortunate, despite being fat and nerdy, that I was never bullied. I could jump out in front, I was like, "Before you call me fat, do you have any extra mayonnaise?"

I'm really only capable to two emotions at this point: lust and hunger. I lost revenge a few years back, and even then, it was reserved only for ex-girlfriends and particular football games that caused me to lose a lot of money.

When you're younger and dumber, as a guy, you do things because you think you have to, because that's how things are done. You wait the standard three days to call, you don't approach the beautiful girl at the bar because you automatically assume she's out of your league, you'd rather jump in a swimming pool filled with jellyfish than tell a woman that you have feelings for her, etc.

Before I realized I had faults, I was already joking about it, to get attention. By the time I went to high school, I had a pretty practiced routine down.

My dad and I are very different people. For example, he's been stabbed; I'm afraid of bugs. He's a mechanic; I once had to exchange a "broken" rental car because I didn't realize I was driving around with the parking brake on. I could keep going, but you get it.

The book is not a cut-and-paste job. Yeah, I have a blog, but the material in the book is all new. The blog deals with my life now, whereas as the book starts a few years before my birth until right about the end of junior high. And yes, I am contractually obliged to mention this as much as possible (each time I do, HarperCollins sends me a free pizza).