The first time my mom found condoms in my room, she literally started crying hysterically.

A man can certainly be a Muppet. Being a Muppet is a state of mind. It's about finding that little part of you that's unique, and not being embarrassed by it, but cherishing it.

I'm better looking in person.

If it's achievement that you place your value in, you're never going to achieve enough. If it's power, you always need to wield power over others. If it's money, you'll never be rich enough. But if you do something and are a part of what is happening, then you're always in it and it's always enough.

The first time my mom found condoms in my room, she literally started crying hysterically.

I have a similar issue with people who hire me as I do with women. 'You have to have a particular taste to want to be around me. I have a slightly askew view.

Part of growing up is not waiting in line at a hipster breakfast restaurant. The eggs taste the same across the street. I promise.