I'm not buying a boat because of writing skits.

I am now The Establishment. There's nothing I can do about it.

I was a straight man long before I knew what it was called. I was just the boring one.

Growing up, my sisters were both into dancing, so I went to a lot of dance recitals, mostly because there were always pretty girls in leotards.

People are getting cynical about the news. It doesn't seem like there's one place to watch where you get the straight dope. You watch the channel that proves your point.

You start at 'SNL' when you're young and hungry, but I don't want my pro years to be my 'SNL' years.

I didn't really want to be an actor when I was growing up - I wanted to be whatever I was reading about or seeing at the time. When I read The Firm I wanted to be a lawyer; when I saw Top Gun, I wanted to be a fighter pilot. So that's why acting probably turned out to be a good thing for me because I get to be people for five minutes or 90 minutes. I'd be curious to see if I had the attention span to be like those guys on 30 Rock and play the same character season after season.