You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day.

Social mores change with time, like fashion - who knows where it might all end up? I especially like the idea that waste, impoliteness and overpopulation become "abominations," although I'm not sure recycling one's aunt will ever truly catch on.

Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.

Journeys up the Metaphoric River are hugely enjoyable and highly recommended. Since every genre is nourished by its heady waters, a paddle steamer can take even the most walk-shy tourists to their chosen destination. As a bonus, there is traditionally at least one murder on board each trip--a "consideration" to the head steward will ensure that it is not you.

Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.