Goodness is weakness, pleasantness is poisonous, serenity is mediocrity and kindness is for losers. The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts – and let’s face it, I am considered something of an expert in this field – is purely for their own sake. Monetary gain is all very well, but it dilutes the taste of wickedness to a lower level that is obtainable by almost anyone with an overdeveloped sense of avarice. True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good.

Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.

You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack. 'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and I have a lot of time on my hands.' 'So what did he say?' 'I don't know.' 'I thought you said you spoke gibberish?' 'I do. But your baby doesn't. I think he's speaking either pre-toddler nonsense, a form of infact burble or an obscure dialect of gobbledygook. In any event, I can't understand a word he's saying.' 'Oh.

The Goliath Corporation was to altruism what Genghis Khan was to soft furnishings.

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.