If only life were that simple; if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad.

Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher.

Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.

There is much unexplained in the world. It behooves us to be wary at all times. Just when you think you've got the hang of it, along comes string theory, collateralized debt obligations or Björk's new album, and bam! You're as confused as you were when you first started.

Defiance through compliance.

I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.