Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.

I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.

If only life were that simple; if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad.

Scientific thought - indeed, any mode of thought, whether it be religious or philosophical or anything else - is just like the fashions that we wear - only much longer lived. It's a little like a boy band.

There are a lot of idiots in this country, and they deserve representation as much as the next man.

I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.

The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.