And what if in the future we're at war again, or we still haven't elected a non-white or non-male president, or the Rolling Stones are still dragging their tired old butts on stage? That would depress me way too much.

Half of them kept repeating my name, trying to get it right, while the other half laughed. But they were harmless. Fun drunks make a nice addition to any party: Not looking to fight. Not looking to score. Just looking to get drunk and laugh. I remember those guys. Like the mascots of the party. "Clay! Whatcha doon here? Bah-ha-ha-ha!

I can't. You can't rewrite the past.

How in the world was I alone? Because I wanted to be. That's all I can say. It's all that makes sense to me.

When you try rescuing someone and discover they can't be reached, why would you ever throw that back in their face?

I sat. And I thought. And the more I thought, connecting the events in my life, the more my heart collapsed.

and i walked for hours the mist growing thick and whole the thought of disappaering like that, so simply, made me so happy