Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How did we screw that one up?

According to the New York Daily News, Geraldo said he is now carrying a gun, and he will personally shoot Osama bin Laden if he finds him. If Osama also has a gun, this could work out okay.

Actually, Joe Biden looked pretty good. In fact, Joe's popularity has gone from 1% to 2% last week to 3% today. At this rate, he could win the nomination by the year 2032.

The Canadian Prime Minister said Canada would lend the U.S. its full military support. You know what that means: Both tanks.

I've lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch.

President James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand while writing in Greek with the other. I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Barack Obama spent his first day as president-elect putting together his transition team. And if you believe MSNBC, by tomorrow he will have chosen all 12 of his disciples.