Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick?

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.

That American Taliban kid Johnny Walker was indicted today. Ten counts of terrorism. He could get 5 life sentences. In Taliban terms, that's 360 virgins.

There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up!

U.N. officials said today they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they're having a hard time getting people to send rescue money. Here's what the UN should do: Invest in bad mortgages, run a bank into the ground, give yourself a bonus, get some spa treatments and, in no time, the government will send you $750 billion.

Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

According to Kim Jong-Il's biography, they say he has been constantly accused of dishonesty, drunkenness and sexual excess. So if he lived here, he could be in Congress.