Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

The Iraqis sat down for talks on how to put together a post-war government. They would have sat down yesterday, but somebody stole all their couches.

Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.

Last night, we had the first gubernatorial debate. Some people are criticizing Schwarzenegger for not going. They say Arnold goes around telling people he cares, everything is going to be great, forget about everything he did in the '70s. Hey, it worked for George Bush.

"I am not just another notch on your belt?" she asked him. "Of course not." he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.

The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare.

A lot of Congressmen yesterday were upset when Kenneth Lay took the Fifth. Lay said it wasn't his fault. He had planned on testifying, but when Jeffrey Skilling testified, he took all the really good lies.