Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth.

When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States.

As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then get my own apartment.

Well, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is back - not for gays in the military. It's President Obama's new policy for questions about Libya. Don't ask, don't tell.

Services were held today for Ken Lay - convicted thief and crook Ken Lay.They folded his arms across his chest and sowed his sleeves together so he couldn't put his hands in anyone's pockets when they walked by. You know when they say in a eulogy, "You're all richer for having known him." I don't think they're going to hear that.

Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's no way to win! If Osama dies, you don't get paid. If you're found, you get killed.

Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I was a kid