When they said "Make love, not war" at Woodstock, they never imagined that one would become as dangerous as the other.

We live in what's called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open our medical records.

Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick?

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge raised security alert to a code red. Apparently Howard Dean has escaped. Did you see Dean's crazed speech the other night, yelling? I see why his wife won't campaign with him. In fact, Dean has a new slogan: 'Aaghhhh.'

A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father.

It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House.

President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did not have any medals to throw away, but in his defense he did have all his services records thrown out.