When they said "Make love, not war" at Woodstock, they never imagined that one would become as dangerous as the other.

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.

It seems The Journal of Neurology reports that the longer you smoke, the less likely you are to develop Parkinson's disease. So what are they telling us? Follow me guys. Remember, a couple of months ago, doctors said drinking a glass of alcohol every day was good for your heart. Smoking prevents Parkinson's disease. Marijuana is good for glaucoma. Sex is good for your prostate. You know, screw health care. Let's party!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

You know what's sad about this? Not the gambling, but the best way to reach college athletes is the Cartoon Network.

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms. He's going to disappear and go fishing. So he must think he's back in the National Guard.