The Senate voted 97-0 for an anti-spam bill to stop those annoying things you get on your computer. The senators made it very clear that when you start misleading the American people and start taking their money over false promises, that's our turf, buddy!

Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking, and she's hoping that the effects will eventually wear off.

President Obama's been reaching out to Iran, reaching out to Cuba, reaching out to Latin America. The only place he can't seem to be able to reach out to: Texas. ... Despite Governor Rick Perry talking about how Texas could secede from the Union if it wanted to, 75 per cent of the people who live there want to stay in the United States. Of course they want to stay. I mean, after spending all that time and effort sneaking across the border to get here, why would they want to leave?

A lot of American companies are now moving into Iraq. Iraq now has Pizza Hut, Subway, Taco Bell and Popeye's fried chicken. So, great, instead of oil for food, we're giving them oil in food.

Did you know that 10% of all Americans have not had sex in 5 years? I didn't know there were so many Republicans.

Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous substances. Not in Iraq, in Rush Limbaugh's medicine cabinet.