If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

Before we give the government any more money, show us some receipts.

The Flinstones wore furs, they ate red meat, and had a stoneage philosophy. In fact, they were the first Republicans.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.

Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I seek professional help.