You know, it shows how old I am. I can remember the good old days when the president picked the Supreme Court justices instead of the other way around.

The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists' team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama played for.

I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS.

Never perform for your family. They either laugh too hard or not at all.

65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

Republican presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward if he runs into Sarah and Bristol Palin at Fox News.

I'm going to be going to a secluded spot where no one can find me - NBC prime time.