The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House said, 'no no,' that they have payroll records to show that he served in the National Guard. But today, the commanding officers can't remember seeing Bush between May and October of '72. President Bush said, 'Remember me? I'm the drunk guy. Remember me?'

President Bush went out touting his economic record in Ohio last week. Now this is a state that lost 225,000 jobs since Bush took office. You know, if Bush wants to tout his record, he should do it somewhere where the Bush economy has actually created jobs, like India, or Thailand, or China.

When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States.

Whitney Houston rear-ended a city bus with her sports car, but no one was hurt. She said she didn't know what happened. One minute she was concentrating on the big white line, and the next, boom!

President Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today Congress announced that they are accepting bribes again.

Actually, Joe Biden looked pretty good. In fact, Joe's popularity has gone from 1% to 2% last week to 3% today. At this rate, he could win the nomination by the year 2032.

Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it.