At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they arrest you? They pat you down.

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.

Did you see Walker's father? 'My son loves America.' Yeah, like O.J. loved his wife.

President Obama told a group of school children that broccoli was his favorite food, and they believed him. Then he told them Obamacare would reduce the deficit and the kids all busted out laughing.

President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida.

A new study says that working fewer hours can slow global warming. So you know what that means? President Obama's economic policy is also his climate change policy.

The Democrats say that President Bush doesn't have an exit strategy for Iraq. Of course he does. If things don't go well, he exits in November.