We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.

We live in what's called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open our medical records.

President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare.

John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her - at her bank.

I looked up the word POLITICS in the dictionary, and it's actually a combination of two words: poli, which means 'many,' and tics, which means 'bloodsuckers.'

When Rick Perry was told about Kim Jong Il, he said, 'I never heard of him, but then again, I don't listen to that rap.'

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.