You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats

When did the government become our psycho ex-girlfriend

U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the terrorist's electronic banking system. You know what they should do? They should transfer bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits, screw up his statement and nickel and dime him to death with service charges.

Nancy Pelosi said that when it comes to cleaning up government, the Democrats have drained the swamp. The only problem with that is what's left after you drain the swamp: snakes everywhere.

A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next time you're looking for a used car.

Con artists are using Obamacare confusion to sign people up for fake health insurance. The scammers lure victims with false promises like, 'If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep your healthcare plan.' The scammers will tell you that, so you have to be careful.

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.