President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on is his own. The White House is now backtracking from its prediction that 2.6 million new jobs will be created in the U.S. this year. They say they were off by roughly 2.6 million jobs.

50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!

Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.

If we go down in flames, we will be laughing on the way down, believe me.

They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years.

As you know, today was Don't Take Your Illegal Immigrant To Work Day here in Los Angeles. No, all across the nation they had a Day Without Immigrants, is what they call it. Or, as Native Americans call it, the good ol' days.

They said these North Korean missiles had enough range to hit Seattle, but residents in Seattle were not worried. Today Bill Gates said Microsoft has enough missiles to destroy North Korea ten times over.