The New York Times has had fake stories. CBS has had fake stories. And now Newsweek had a fake story. You realize the only one that hasn't had to print a retraction is the National Inquirer

I believe engineers will save the world.

Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.

Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I seek professional help.

I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS.

If you're a gunfighter, you like to die in the street.

Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate.