You can have a do-over starting today. But you have to get over the feeling that it's too late

You fall a bit behind on a credit card bill, your interest rate soars, your minimum payment rises, and you start falling more and more behind every month. You don't see an end. But you don't want to file bankruptcy either. What you can do - and should do - is negotiate.

The Bankruptcy Reform Act of 2005 made it harder for individuals to file bankruptcy, which is always the last resort. Unfortunately, simultaneously consumers racked up so much debt that counseling companies - which are higher up on my list if you need help managing your debt - are sometimes unable to help. So if you fall into this camp, debt settlement may be something to consider.

You can have a do-over starting today. But you have to get over the feeling that it's too late

The debt settlement company will direct you to stop paying your creditor and instead send the money directly to them each month. The company's goal is to demonstrate to your creditor that you don't have the money to pay up - that's your leverage. After a few months, the company will typically go to the creditor and say, "I'm holding X dollars on behalf of your customer. He doesn't have the money to pay you, so you should take this amount as a settlement or you'll end up with nothing." If the creditor wants to get paid badly enough, it will take the money.

It's not about having it all. It's about having what you value most.

If you default on an unsecured debt, you won't lose anything (except points on your credit score).