I came to America with a dream and I made it. The dream became reality. America is built for success.

I'm fast, why? Because I eat vegetables.

A man may have the best of wealth, cars and fame. But there is nothing more precious in life that he will get than a woman's heart.

••When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!

My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.

Showing myself nude from behind doesn't pose any problems, but from the front that's another story. I don't want to lose all my fans!

If you phone a psychic and she doesn't answer the phone before it rings, hang up.