••When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!

I'm fast, why? Because I eat vegetables.

Karate's a very boring sport, but when you know the technique you can go further and further.

A cookie has no soul, it's just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there's the potential for life.

God gave me a great body and it's my duty to take care of my physical temple.

My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.

I'm not a movie star. I'm a brand name. Van Damme is like Levi's. I go on vacation, and everywhere I go, people love me for my name, not for my movies.