Education makes us more stupid than the brutes. A thousand voices call to us on every hand, but our ears are stopped with wisdom.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

In times of death and famine, reason is on the side of the priests-who have their own kind of logic which cries for miracles and, on occasion, invents them.

Death is the next step after the pension-it's perpetual retirement without pay.

Government defines the physical aspects of man by means of The Printed Form, so that for every man in the flesh there is an exactly corresponding man on paper.

A man has only one way of being immortal on earth: he has to forget he is a mortal.

Who would prefer peace to the glory of hunger and thirst, of wading through mud, and dying in the service of one's country?