Born enemies don't fight. Nations you would say were designed to go to war against each other by their skins, their language, their smell; always jealous of each other, always hating each other; they're not the ones who fight. You will find the real antagonists in nations fate has groomed and made ready for the same war.

Faithful women are all alike, they think only of their fidelity, never of their husbands.

Oh God, if you want women to never again raise their voices, then create an adult man!

Half the human race can change its name and sometimes its nation without suffering — at least half! All women!

To win a woman in the first place you must please her, then undress her, and then somehow get her clothes back on her, finally, so that she will let you leave her, you've got to antagonise her.

To seek out in a world full of joy the one thing that is certain to give you pain, and hug it to your bosom with all your strength; that's the greatest human happiness.

As soon as war is declared it will be impossible to hold the poets back. Rhyme is still the most effective drum.