A human hires a hit man to kill his cousin for money, boring. That same hit man botches the job twice, funny. Then �the desperate hit man sends a ghoul after the girl to finish things up, my curiosity's piqued. That same ghoul ends up with his head cut off by a mysterious redhead . . . Ah. Now I'm interested.

If you were Catholic, you'd singe the ears of the priest you confessed to.

Licking Falls, Ohio, had its own set of standards. They were archaic at best.

Nice to meet you, mate, and here's some advice: Don't even think about it. You try anything with her and I'll neuter you with my bare hands.

Movies. Drinks. Headless chickens. You know, girl stuff.

Rodney set a plate in front of me and one in front of my mother. I almost fainted when she began to eat instead of hurling it at him. Had one of the vampires gotten tired of her bitching and bitten her into a better mood? She caught my flabbergasted look. "I watched what he put in it" she said defensively. Rodney, instead of being insulted, just laughed. "You're welcome, Justina.

Don't kiss me like a woman if you're going to treat me like a child.