I heard the car door shut and then Fabian's voice. "You won't believe what I found around the edge of your property," the ghost announced. "A cave with prehistoric painting inside it!" I rolled my eyes. That was the best tactic Fabian could come up with? This was a vampire he was trying to stall, not a paleontologist.

Wouldn’t that make a charming epitaph? Here lies Cat. Killed not by fang, but Ferragamos.

Or for the gorgeously bare vampire to give her a sensual massage while feeding her peeled grapes.

The sheer splendor of the sight made my chest tighten and tears sting my eyes. All the darkness lately made it easy to forget the world contained more than people trying to hurt other people. It had beauty, too, if you knew where to look--and remembered to open your eyes.

I know I'm delicious. Nummy.....nummy. -Vlad

I’m the only authentic Vlad. Everyone else is merely an envious imitation.

Of course you are. Then you're going to give me multiple orgasms and pay off my mortgage too. I saw this movie, pal. It was in the fantasy section. (Isa)