Or for the gorgeously bare vampire to give her a sensual massage while feeding her peeled grapes.

How I hated the dark part of me that continually foretold of failure or futility.

Be still my non-beating heart.

This was a dream. A very bad, bad dream, brought on by liver poisoning from too many gin and tonics. Here it was, a deal with the devil. At what price my soul? He watched me expectantly and threateningly all at the same time. If I said no, I knew what would happen. Save the glass, waitress, I’m drinking from the bottle! Happy hour, with my neck on tap. If I said yes, I’d be agreeing to a partnership with pure evil.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I was going to squirt tears. How unprofessional.

He smiled, so sensual and beautiful, it was another form of bliss just looking at him.

I don't mind foreigners. God save the queen!" he squeaked and ran.