Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.

Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday, I was there for every major event.

I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'

I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.

Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick.

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.