I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect.

Most people when they have autobiographies, they're not autobiographies, they're biographies written by a ghost writer.

I love touring, I love doing the live show and it's just like a musical artist, you just keep coming up with material and as long as you're coming up with the material and as long as audiences like it, you just keep doing it, it's your job.

I am no kind of philanthropist or humanitarian, but it is really nice to get those emails from all over the world of people who said, I had nothing to laugh at or my son was really sick or my husband is really sick and we put on your DVDs and we laughed, thanks for making the real world go away for a little while.

You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.

I hate the beach - I'm a mountain guy. I'd much rather face a bear than a shark.

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.