Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.

I'm not married. I hope to be someday so I can stop exercising.

Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who has the hearing aid.

There's only one thing that separates us from animals: We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.

I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.'

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.