I enjoy doing nothing.

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'.

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.

I enjoy doing nothing.

A lot of girls annoy me who go to university - one girl told me she was going to Oxford because it was something to do between leaving school and getting married. And I've got to pay for that being an income tax payer.

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.

Oh, the self-importance of fading stars. Never mind, they will be black holes one day.